The Irish Critic (whoever he or she may be), recently made the long and treacherous journey to Hollywood, and boy were the expectations high. ‘Hollywood‘, the critic thought, the historical iconic home of the studios and stars, where Julia Roberts paraded down Hollywood Boulevard in ‘Pretty Woman‘. The place where all your dreams come true.
Take my advice: Never go there. Not only is it completely under whelming, the act of going there is pretty much akin to suicide by cop. It’s asking for it. Hollywood is in fact the home, not of the stars but of the crazies- I mean that in the most politically correct way possible, there is simply no other word more fitting. I don’t mean New York crazy, the kind of crazy that most of us possess but are too scared to unveil. These people are loons- knife wielding, Charlie Chaplin costume wearing loons.
Apart from that, the whole place is entirely dilapidated, not to mention corrupt. All the shops, which are mostly of the costume and sex variety ( not that there’s anything wrong with that), are boarded up and shut down- the place is dead. The stars on the Hollywood walk of fame feel like that have nothing in common with the stars whose names they bare. No class, no elegance. Not to mention the fact that anyone can now buy a star on the walk of fame, for the price of only $25,000, a bargain eh? Now you know what to get that special someone for their next birthday.
Go if you dare, but don’t say The Irish Critic didn’t warn you, the discerning individual that he or she is.